Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Bang, Bang, Ka-Boom

Have you ever sat back and thought about exactly what you want out of life? Many people do not discover themselves and the things they want until later in life. However, I have had the opportunity, the privilege to know exactly what I want at a very young age. I am not just talking about getting married or finding love. I am talking about the whole 9 yards. The whole shebang.

Once you finally discover yourself and realize exactly what you want and expect out of life, you want it right then and there. You are willing to do whatever it takes to make your dreams come true. You will work nonstop, become more determined than ever, and find ways to motivate yourself to keep yourself going. Because after all, it is what YOU want.

Have you ever figured all this out, began working nonstop to make your dreams come only to loose it all... over and over again? That is where I feel I am at. Maybe not over and over again, but it definitely hit me hard in the gut this last go around. You know the feeling you get when you are so close to succeeding, what you want is right at your fingertips, but all of a sudden the road begins to crack right in front of you (of course, you don't notice it yet) but then the cracks just keep growing and growing and growing until a cliff is formed and as you are reaching for the finish line.... Bam! You fall off the cliff. And have to get back up and try again. Only this time, hoping your dreams, your wishes, your faith, your dedication, your patience, your body is just as strong, strong enough to continue to make it happen.

This post is not meant to be a depressing post at all. Just because I am going through this, I went through this, it has not impacted me in a negative way, surprisingly. Why? Because God is on my side. God has given me the opportunity to learn some life lessons that I would not have learned otherwise. The last couple of days I was thrown a curve ball. It is nothing bad, nothing hysterical, nothing to break me apart by any means. But it was enough to hurt me, disappointment me, upset me, and even excite me. 

With this, I have learned that I am so thankful. Thankful to have the strength, the courage, the determination, the happiness, the bond, the love, the patience, the support to be who I am, to recognize who I am and what I have. I have always been thankful for my life, for my blessings. I have. I have always thanked God for taking care of me and showing me the right path in life, the right path for me. And I always (and I mean always) count my blessings. When I'm driving, when I'm working out in the gym, when I'm alone, anytime anywhere. And I have so much to be thankful for. 

This week I have learned a life lesson. One that I took for granted in a sense. One I obsessed over. Something that I wanted to be in control of to a degree. Something that I am learning just how lucky I am, just how blessed I am, just how nice it will be when all my wishes, hopes, and dreams do come true. Because I have had this time to grow, to learn, to see, and to appreciate. And with this, I will live, laugh, love, be happy, and grow fonder.


  1. What a great post.... you are so strong xoxo

  2. Hey girl! This wasn't a depressing post, it was inspirational! Yeah, I'm one of those who kinda knows what she wants, but isn't living life in that direction. My hubby and I just had a long talk about that today - about what we should keep in our lives, and what should go, and what we should add that is really living in the areas that God gave us passion for, you know? So, I would love to hear about what your passion is, and when/how you discovered it! Oh, and to your previous post: my little sis is a pickle fanatic too. At subway, she always asks for extra pickles, then when they put more on, she says, "Um, more please!". She's addicted! Hope you're well. I totally need to come back here when I have time to read more about your trip. I've been woefully absent from blogland lately, and just wanted to stop by, see how you were doing, and say hello! Talk to ya again soon, ~K

  3. I agree with Kristin, not depressing at all. We all hate the problems we can't control. They drive me crazier than anything I caused! We want our lives to go a certain way, the "good" way, which causes us to label any other way a "bad" or unsavory way, when it might be better for us in the long run. Whatever your issues are, I hope they work out for you and your family!


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