Monday, February 7, 2011

(Mil)ing It Over: MilSpouse Stereotypes

I do not have the time or energy to do a video, but I thought I would at least write a response to this week's discussion. It is on the common Military Spouse Stereotypes. How fun, right?!

As most of you know, there are stereotypes for Military Spouses. There is, but there is also stereotypes for anyone and everyone out in the world. Since I am a military spouse, I am going to share with you my fair share of accusations that I have seen and came across. I personally believe that stereotypes form in some way, but in the end, we are all our own separate people with our own separate goals, our own separate backgrounds, our own separate morals and values, and our own separate lifestyles - just like any other person or family.

I thought of a few stereotypes that I commonly hear. To be honest, every stereotype that has been mentioned by others have been stereotypes I have heard for other branches. For example, I have heard that Army wives are "tramps", but in reality, Air Force, Navy, Marine, etc have all been accused of that as well. I left these stereotypes open to Military Wives in general.

Military Spouse Stereotypes:
1. You commonly hear how many military wives wear their husband's ranks. I can honestly say that this can be true for some, yes. I have seen those, but I also know 100x more that do not. They have their own lives and are proud of who they are. They do not let their husband's rank or job interfere with who they are as a person.

2. Officer wives are snobby, conceited, better than the rest, etc. Whatever you want to call it. Someone, somewhere gave officer wives a bad name. Sure, some Officer Wives are just that. They refuse to be friends with others that are a lower rank. They talk to others like they are constantly better than everyone around them. But in the world, not just the military world, there are always people like this. I can honestly say that I have met some very nice Officer Wives. Some of which are now my friends, that I can actually hang out with, go shopping with, and be just what we are - People, Spouses.

3. Then there is the stereotype of Officer Wives being dingy or uneducated about the military lifestyle. This one is actually funny to me because it reminds me of this meeting I went to where there were 3 new Officer Wives and they were asking questions (they had no clue I was an Enlisted wife). It was funny to see just how dingy they actually sounded. But to be fair, they were new! I know I sounded absolutely crazy when I asked the most ridiculous questions when I was a new spouse. I am sure I still do this. And let me tell you, I know Enlisted Wives that have been in longer than me and sound just as uneducated about the military as someone who just entered the lifestyle.

4. The most famous that Military Wives are tramps. Sure, we all are. We like to sleep with whomever we can get to when our husband's are deployed. We like to have our "fat boyfriends" over when our husband is on swing shift. They keep us warm. We like to put our empty laundry detergent bottles or boxes out on our front porch, so the next man that passes by will know that we are looking to get some..... you know. We are ALL just like that! Ok, joke is over. Yes, there are actually people that have done such a thing. But just because it's one person's "to-do" does not mean it is everyone. Living a military lifestyle, you learn that diversity is a good thing, is acceptable, and should be respected. For every 1 wife that pulls such a stunt, there are about another 10,000 that does not. (Not true, unresearched statistic randomly thrown in.)

5. Military Wives love to pop babies out left and right. Here is another one that can sometimes be true. But I can also name just as many families in the civilian world that pop babies out left and right. People have to remember that we can go long times without seeing our husbands, so by the time we do get to see them, our hormones are sky high and our fertility is up by a gazillion percent.

6. Military Wives tend to lose their own identity. To be fair, sometimes this is true. Many military wives get caught up in their husband's work schedule that they forget who they are and sacrifice for their husband's. Think about it. Active duty members can work long hours, can deploy for long periods of time, can go on multiple TDY's, etc. It's not because they completely forget who they are. They are sacrificing for our country in their own. It's not that they are hiding behind their husband's or trying to escape the world. It's because they have to pick up that extra work while their husband's are out at war, working long hours. For some, they lose themselves because of stress. But I can almost guarantee that most all will pick right back up and continue on. For every one military wife that gives up her goals in life (or loses her own identity), there are 100x times that are making a career for themselves, constantly working to better themselves individually.

7. Military Wives are nothing but drama. Bottom line is that their are many wives that like to talk. Why? Because at some point someone gave them something to talk about. I have to say that many military spouses do like to gossip and throw things in the air. I have seen it myself, but I will also be the first person to tell you that they are not all like that. There are some that keep thoughts to themselves, actually keep other wives' secrets/personal problems, and support one another. Think about the outside world. Is there no drama there? Not true. Sometimes military wives are all each other have, especially in overseas areas, and they tend to rely on the same people or only communicate with other military spouses. I think that is why it is seen as "Military Wives are drama queens."

I decided to add in a few Military Stereotypes about military members/families in general. Here they are.
1. Military members make a lot of money. Really? Where is all this money? We do not make a lot of money. I wish we did. I really do not understand how people think we make a lot of money.

2. Military couples are swingers. Yes, there are a few of them out there, but not very many. Most of them have to do the "swinging" with civilians actually in order to get any "swinging" out of it.
(I just reread this and it sounds hilarious! haha!)

3. When military families live in another country, they do not have to deal with the President. This is one that we hear every time a new President is elected. Isn't it hilarious?! Some people need to brushen up on a Government or History class.

*I know I used "we" in some of these as if I was referring to myself, but I was not. It was either from sarcasm or a personal experience I encountered. Please do not take it as if I am offended personally by any of those comments because I definitely am not. I also hope I did not offend anyone in the process. 


  1. You pointed out some stereotypes they I have overlooked or forgotten. Great point in that depending on what branch your in you hear them slightly different. Why do the few always dictate the whole? Like you said just because 1 person somewhere did that does not mean as a whole the majority does it.

  2. LOL! How funny! Good post.

    I might add that I was an enlisted Marine brat growing up, then I married an enlisted Marine and then he got commissioned as an officer. I see both sides of the "fence" on enlisted vs OW. I am nice to everyone. I hate it though, when I am treated different from wives once they find out I'm an OW....they seriously, walk backwards to get away from me. It really hurts my feelings. I don't care if your enlisted! Gesh...if I like you, I like you!

  3. I'm an officer wife and newly into this military lifestyle. So I really had no clue about military life or my husband's job, so I ask questions a lot because I want to know! I love learning things. Being new into the military and being in a new place, I'll hang out with anyone! I'm friends with OW and enlisted wives. I'll be friends with anyone as long as they're nice!

  4. I had never heard of the whole laundry detergent on the porch thing...ha! That made me giggle

  5. I love this post, my husband is in the National Guard but we have most of the same problems! It is hilarious about how many civilians don't know the pay is sucky. I get irritated with some people because of the stupid questions they ask, or remarks they say but I am patient with them because there are still things I don't know about.

  6. I get so mad when I hear stereotypes and get shoved into a category for not only being a military wife but also an Air Force wife. You did a great job! Yeah, we're all sluts. Hit the head on the nail with that one.


We love comments! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!! :) Always leave your personal URL for me to send love back!