Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Toddler Troubles: The Potty

Oh man, here we go.

I'm here to share what I've been dealing with, and I'm hoping someone has some advice, tips, recommendations or even their own experience with this.

A just turned 3 years old last month. She's been potty training on and off since she was 16 months. We moved during that time, so it wasn't a priority at the time and it was extremely inconvenient. Over time we tried to work with her, but we wanted her to do it on her time. Now that E is here and is getting older, she wants to be like her sister. E wants to be like A and A wants to be like E. It's a vicious cycle. She has reverted back to diapers. Yes, even while going to school with kids who are potty trained. Why? Because she wants to be like her sister.

She knows when she has to go to the bathroom. She knows how to control it (like hold it and so forth). However, she has no interest.

We've tried the basic sticker chart. It worked for a little bit, then she was over it. We tried giving her things that she was interested in at the time... books, dress up attire, etc. Inexpensive things. We've tried giving her money for her piggy bank. Another thing she loves, loves doing. And yes, we've even tried candy.

Nothing is working. She will go 5-6 hours doing great. Then when she asks for something she can't have or gets mad at us, she will pee on herself and refuse to use the bathroom. It's like her way of getting back at us. It's so annoying.

Now, I don't care if she is potty trained or not. I'm not going to force our kids to grow up. However, she knows what she is doing. She should be potty trained. So now, I feel like I need to force her. She's abusing our generosity and rewards. By this I mean she literally tells us if we give her something she will go use the potty. And it goes the other way... when she asks for candy or something she can't have, she will pee on herself as revenge to us.

We are thinking about making her stay in her pee as punishment, but that doesn't seem to be phasing her either. We are at a loss.

Someone please tell me this is normal.... ?

I'm open to suggestions, tips, recommendations.... Please?!

1 comment:

  1. Personally I would make A help clean it up if she did it on purpose. Like holding the paper towels or getting the mop. That sort of thing. Making her take some responsibility for her actions in this regard may teach her that intentionally going in her pants means more work for her while still not getting what she wants. I don't see it as a punishment but rather a consequence to an action. I like to teach that all actions, good or bad, have consequences. Overall it feels like attention seeking behavior. Obviously you know this. control over her bowel movements in all she truly has control over and A is smart enough to know this. Maybe try giving her more control in other areas like picking out her own clothing among a choice of 2-3 outfits or letting her pick every now and then what veggie she eats with lunch. This may help her feel the sense of control that she wants but in a constructive way. These are just thoughts. Its a tough situation and I don't think there is any right or wrong answer in how to fix it since every kid is different. Good luck. Hope something works for you soon!


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