Burning Bridges

Since having kids, I have noticed that I don't let people take advantage of me. By this, I mean that when I get a strange feeling about someone or something, I tuck and run. I never use to be like this, and I really am not sure if this is a good thing. 

That is why I am here. Is it a good thing? 

Before, I was that person that wanted to be friends with everyone and even if they hurt me or took advantage of me I didn't care. I still was me. 

I am still me, but I don't let people take advantage of me. I also don't want to be surrounded by people that give me a negative vibe. I especially don't want my kids around people that do things that I disapprove of in raising them. 

Is it normal for mother's to become that overprotective person that starts being more choosy and can say no more often in order to protect their family? 

I feel like that is where I am in life, and I must admit that I question whether it is a good thing or not. 

I have always had a hard time making friends, but by choice. I'm the type to sit back and observe a person before I speak out and let myself be seen. I'm viewed as being shy (especially before I get to know someone). 

This is mostly because I'm very outspoken and upfront. Not in the sense of being confrontational or someone to start debates. I actually hate conflict. 

Someone may be my friend, but it doesn't mean I love everything about them. That's normal. Every individual has their flaws and no one is perfect, and that is exactly why we should embrace one another and appreciate the differences. That is what makes us diverse and flexible in life and our experiences.

But there are some things that I really don't want to be apart of. Things like lying, cheating, stealing, gossiping, etc. Some things rub me the wrong way and makes me wonder what these types of people do to me behind my back. Therefore, I "burn bridges" as Mr. Man calls it.

Of course this weekend, I came across someone I hadn't seen in months. I was super busy with both kids by myself. I wasn't trying to be rude or not acknowledge the person. I did what I could. I chatted with them; I definitely did not bypass them. But when I got home, I explained to my husband about what happened. I told him I felt bad about not being able to chat longer and be more personable with them, but the kids were going crazy and I needed to get out of there and get home. He understood. 

But he brought something to my attention that I definitely had never took into consideration... burning bridges and how it could affect us later. 

I never really thought about it like that. I don't have enemies, and i don't feel that I make enemies. If I do, then I don't know that they have such strong opinions about me. I always tell someone what I think about them if it ever comes up. Again, I avoid conflict unless it is presented to me. 

Here is the joy of the military world. 

I think that those of us involved in it can agree that it is a small world. We run into each other quiet frequently. Burning bridges can make bad futures. And that is what I am learning now in this stage of our military life. This is where the politics of the military comes into play. As my husband makes rank, I see how he is portrayed in many lights. How people know him and come to know him. How people view him. How people talk to him. A lot of it. As his wife, as a military spouse, I have to also uphold a standard. I can affect the way others view him. 

This is where.... I realize that I should not burn bridges. 

What does this tell me? I need to be fake. I should be fake in consideration of how my personality can reflect on my husband. 

Like I said, I don't make enemies. I don't have enemies. I forgive and forget. 

But I would be lying if I said that when people betray me, I don't walk away and never return.