I Know My Husband is Deployed When: (Part 1)

There is a saying that goes around the military lives. It is that when your husband leaves for a TDY or deployment, everything in the house breaks, gets lost, or someone gets hurt from something really random. Hard to explain, but it is something that has always happened to me and many others.

So first, I am going to tell you a little story about why I decided to write this blog. First off, I must say that Wiley's first deployment back in '07-'08 had many, many fall backs immediately following the day he left. Actually, the day my family left from seeing him off. It seemed everything started to crumble right before my eyes, but with this life, you know that you can never give up and must push on. God chose this life for me, and he knew I would grow a strength I've never even imagined. With that deployment, this strength was broken from its shell and shown from my actions. The next goodbye to Wiley was some short Honor Guard hours, which did not seem to phase me much. However, the very next TDY that Wiley went on was...... after we got here to England, he went to Romania.

Wiley left for Romania, which was suppose to be a 30 day TDY. (It ended up only being 2 weeks.) The day he left, random things began to happen. I was cleaning out the closet one day and dropped a stereo on my head. Another day, I rolled down the stairs. Another day, Buttons was being a bad, bad puppy. So it all just came crashing down. You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours." Yep, I experience that a lot when Wiley is away. But this time, I must say it was different... at least for the first half.

Wiley left for Afghanistan a few days after Christmas. Things started out rough because I had to drive his car because I was waiting on the MOT sticker for my car and the roads were icy. On the way home, I slid really bad and almost hit another vehicle. As I am driving home all I can think is, "If this is already happening to me, I hate to see what's next." Well as time went on nothing happened to me. I just overlooked it and thought something was bound to happen to me. It wouldn't be normal if I went a whole deployment and nothing happened. So one day, I was fixing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (which by the way Brits think is nasty!) and on my way to dig for the peanut butter with my butter knife, the knife just broke. Hard to explain, but this is not something just anyone can manage to do. It was a magic trick that I am still not aware of how I pulled it off. I know crazy, right?! Well OVER half of the deployment goes on, and Wiley decides to ask me what I have broken, including myself. So I sit back and think... and so I tell him, "Surprisingly nothing, yet." And he laughs. From that moment on, I should have knocked on wood, but it never even crossed my mind. BIG MISTAKE. The following week EVERYTHING decided to take a tumble. I slip and fell in the shower (*blush*), someone decides to be extremely needed to me and calls me every 5 seconds of the day, I was running off of 4 hours a sleep a night because I either couldn't sleep or someone would interrupt my sleep, school was getting hectic because finals were coming up... on and on. But to top off the week, my car. Yes, my car. I guess I decided to hit a nail, so on Sunday morning I wake up to a flat tire. Seriously, at this point, all I could do was laugh. What else was I suppose to do? I get out my car, jump into Wiley's car and off I go. I come back home and every single time I look at my car, I laugh. I got someone to change the tire to my doughnut so I could drive on base to get a replacement, and guess what?!!! YES, YOU ARE RIGHT! My doughnut is flat, too! Ok, so that is where I am now. Things have calmed down since then though. I was just so frustrated that it all had to happen at the end of the deployment. I mean come on, if you are going to test my strength then at least make me suffer for the full four months.

Wiley was surprisingly worried about me and what I was going to do. When he asked exactly that, I just giggled and said, "Uhh duh, air up to tire, drive your car, and get if fixed." That wasn't so hard to realize. He was like, "no, no, no.. wait until I get home." What am I not capable of doing this myself? Come on. But really it was sweet that he worried about me. Even sweeter that he actually felt bad about me having to drive his car. He normally tells me to suck it up and move on, which I am thankful for because now I can drive his car like a pro. But still.. he was sweet for reacting that way.

This will have another part to it because I would like to add in the simple things in life that change for me when Wiley is away. Hence, Part 1 up there in parenthesis.

Another Week Has Passed

This week is the week of finals, and as I was approaching this week, I started to get really nervous about what would be arriving soon in my life. Since I am taking so many classes this term, I knew that this week would be hectic along with the following week. Next week, I am going to be a "live-in nanny" for one of my friends.

As I was signing up for classes for this passed term, I kept telling myself, "Just think, whenever these classes end, Wiley will be home really soon after that." What amazes me is now that this time is finally here, I have no idea what to do with myself. I am so excited and can't wait to have Wiley back home with me. This term has been so so busy, and I haven't had the time to stop and breathe much. I am having a hard time realizing that he will be home sooner rather than later. I just feel like he left just a couple of days ago. I could be feeling like that since our last deployment together was double the time of this one, but I do wish sometimes that I would have or had my moments of grieving wondering when he would be back. Yes, I have down days where all I think about his him and have a harder time staying focused on school. But majority of the time, I am still happy, bubbly me... or stressed, busy, gotta get this done now. Never in the middle. Never have time to sit back and relax, then become sad. I am SOOO excited that this whole experience has been so different from the last one. A whole new experience, a whole new level of life is about to come into our lives without us even realizing it. So BYE BYE finals... and Hello, almost done with deployment!

So you are asking about this whole "live-in nanny" thing? Well a friend of mine, actually Wiley's First Shirt, our neighbor, asked me for a favor. Her husband made Master and has been TDY for his schooling/training for it. She has her sister's wedding to go to. She is in it and everything, so she asked if I would watch the kids for a few days until her husband got back. Of course, I said yes! The kids are well behaved, and I enjoy their company. It will be an adventure in itself. I will be in school, so I will get to experience what it is like to be a full time student and a Mom. It will be interesting, but I really am blessed to be able to have this opportunity to see how I will handle it. The kids are ages 12, 8, and 4. Girl, boy, girl! The 12 and 8 year old will be in school, but the 4 year old will be home with me all day everyday. I am actually fairly excited about it. Buttons will get to play with Molly (their dog). It's a win-win situation. Not to mention, it will help time fly by really fast.

A Little Bit of This and A Little Bit of That

So now that Wiley and I are over halfway done with this deployment, I look back and wonder where the time went. This, so far, has been an amazing journey for the both of us. As challenges arrive and the wonderful feeling of succeeding and pushing on, I have become a bigger, better, and even stronger woman than I was before. I am happy to say that this journey in life is making the biggest impact on our life as a whole. As we approach new chapters in life and leave old chapters behind, I never once would look back and regret any decision or action I have chosen.

My life as an Air Force Wife brings many "What If's" but I have to just rely on God and live life. Everything in this military world is worth living for, worth fighting for, and I would never look back. Many people ask me if I was crazy when I made the decision to marry at such a young age, to become an Air Force Wife, but the answer is, No I was and am not crazy. People wonder how I do it, what keeps me going, but the reality of it is that it is worth fighting for, it is worth doing. No matter the challenges it throws our way, we are there to endure it as a couple, as a family. The Air Force is my family, and without it no telling where I would be.

Actually, we think about that quite often. The "What If's".. What if I didn't get married? What if I stayed home? What if I chose another path to life? People ask me if I could go back and change anything would I, and the answer is no. I never once have thought twice about the life I have chosen or the person I have become. This life is exactly what has made me the person I am today. From being 17 in high school to turning 21, living in England... surviving two deployments (ok, 1 and a half!). Would I want my life any different? Heck no! This is the life God has chosen for me, and I believe I am pretty darn good at it. Life is a journey. It's all about living and learning.

And what have I learned today? That no matter how much someone else relies on you. No matter how much you have to sacrifice as a person to make them happy, you should do it. Why? Because you never know when your last moment with them will come... when it all just disappears and all you have left to think about is the regret that you have built upon yourself for being selfish and inconsiderate. Even when you weren't technically being "selfish" or "inconsiderate" but knew you could've made it work to help that person out, you will live forever knowing that you were that person to them. So from this day forward, when I can lend a hand, I will. When I can lend a shoulder, I will. Because I know I have the greatest strength of all time... the best sidekick 24/7. With him, I can pass that strength on to others, even if it does call for a little less sleep and a little more sacrificing.

Crocheting

Now that I am about to take finals and will have more free time on my hands when the next set of classes roll around, I decided to take on some lessons of some sort. I couldn't decide what I wanted to learn. I just knew I wanted it to be fun and exciting and last a long time. Well, I have always said that I would learn how to crochet before I had kids. I have seen so many pictures of me and my sister with the cutest little outfits with crocheted booties and hats. I remember as a child having a blanket that I loved that was one that my Memaw made for me, so I was talking to Wiley about my free time and mentioned finally sitting down and doing this. This just fell right in my lap because as I was hunting for someone to teach me, I find out that one of my good friends here knows how to do it. Then a couple of days later as I was talking to another friend, she told me to ask this friend about it. So I did, and she was so excited to get started and teach me. Now I am working on a scarf, which is my beginner piece, but I am so excited about it. I do actually get frustrated with it, but then once I get it finished I get so excited and feel like I have accomplished so much. My goal is to be able to make multiple things focuses around children, and some things for myself. This is all for fun and play, though. Today was my first take home and finish type lesson, and I did it! I was so proud of myself! I can't wait to get farther into it and get even better at it.

Massage & Facial

On Monday, March 1st, I had a massage and facial at a local spa. Well, it is not a spa. It is actually a private little annex attached to her home. It was a perfect and cozy little area to get a massage.

The massage was absolutely fantastic. This is the first person that has actually been able to make me relax through a whole massage. She was well educated on her job, so she gave me some advice to help with some spots in my body that need strengthening and/or changes. She found a ton of knots in my lower back, which has always been my weak spot. She said that is the reason why my back arches. As time goes on and there is a buildup, it applies pressure which causes me the back pain and arch in my back. She suggested me do more core workouts/yoga and to stop myself from crossing my legs when I sit down. She also found some knots in my shoulders, which begin to form in my should blades and move up to the tips of my shoulder. She said it is the same thing. The way to fix this is to bring things that I am reading up to eye level instead of me looking down. She also said that if I keep my emotions in and/or bite my tongue when I have something to say then it all goes to my shoulders. Which is called STRESS! So I am going to work to try to only keep positive energy flowing through my body to help reduce this. She worked all of the knots out and of course I had to drink plenty of water to flush it all out. I really enjoyed the massage, and I definitely recommend her!

The facial followed the massage and it was even better. It was a clay facial with clay that comes from the ground with nothing added to it. All the products she used was organic! She did like 3 or 4 different layers of things to bring out any oiliness and to help reduce my scares on my face from when I was younger. It was so soft and smooth! I loved every moment of it, and even fell asleep during it. I will definitely go back and have that done as well.

And I loved doing it all at once because it set me in the perfect mood. I came home, which by the way was only a 3 minute drive, and laid right on the couch to enjoy my mood. I had planned for that day to be a laid back day so I could enjoy the relaxation that the massage and facial brought. No gym, no major school work. Just me, Buttons, and relaxation! Perfect day! I laid on the couch, turned on the TV and within minutes I was asleep with Buttons asleep right on top of me curled up in my neck. I laid there for about 3 hours and then finally got up to do some minor cleaning and email Wiley. After I got my things done, I was back to relaxing! I laid on the couch and read a book until it was late and I was ready for a shower.

This day was one of the best days since Wiley has been gone because I have been so busy that I have no time to take for myself. This day was taken out of my life/ our life/ your life/ their life just so I could enjoy myself and take some time to refresh my mind, body, and soul!